I think Sandra hates it when I get focused on writing. I kind of disappear. The other night I went into my office at around 4 something and then next thing I know Sandra’s going to bed and it was 10 something. I just lost like, six hours.
She said that I’m just gone, even when I’m there. I didn’t believe her until today. We were driving and the song Toucha Toucha Touch Me from the Rocky Horror Picture Show was on the cd we were listening to and I started thinking about “what if my vampire characters decided to go to Rocky Horror. That would be pretty funny, because they could fit right in and no one would know. They they could kill someone and people wouldn’t know if it was real or part of the show. Who would dress up like what? If a woman dresses up like Dr. Frank and she’s a woman dressed up like a man dressed up like a woman, and she’s also a masculine woman, would what work? I don’t see why not. Gender seems to be pretty fluid these days. Are there people out there that identify as transgendered versions of the sex they are? Like, I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body trapped in a woman’s body? How far can that go? That might be an interesting thing to explore. A masculine woman who feels she’s a woman trapped in a man’s body trapped in a woman’s body”
And Sandra was like “Have you heard anything I’ve said for the last twenty minutes?” and I had to say “Uh… no, sorry.” because, you know, I didn’t.
That’s the flipside of ADHD. I get distracted easily, but I also hyperfocus and tune everything out when I’m hooked in. And I’m hooked in. Have been for about a week now. I have to force myself to get up and eat and go to the bathroom. We go out for things and the whole time I’m out I’m just thinking about being back home and working.
It’s gratifying that it’s going so well, and I feel like I’ve spent so much of my life floundering that I finally feel like I’m doing something worthwhile with my time. There is a cost though. Once I get through this book I’ll be able to take a break.